The Fear of Losing You
by Obi the Kid
Summary: Pre-TPM (Obi is 18). Qui-Gon awaits Obi-Wan’s return from a mission.


TITLE: For Fear of Losing You   
AUTHOR: Obi the Kid (hlnkid@aol.com)   
RATING: PG   
SUMMARY: Pre-TPM (Obi is 18). Qui-Gon awaits Obi-Wan's return from a mission.   
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DISCLAIMER: The characters and venue of Star Wars are copyrighted to Lucas Films Limited. The characters not recognizable from this venue are copyrighted to Tracy C. Knight. The story is the intellectual property of Tracy C. Knight and is copyrighted to her. She makes no profit from the writing or distribution of this story.   
  
//Communication through the Jedi bond//   
**Inner thoughts**   
======================   
For Fear of Losing You   
======================   
  
Qui-Gon Jinn was nervous. He'd been pacing the balcony overlooking the city for an hour now...awaiting any news on the transport ship that had yet to arrive. His eighteen-year-old apprentice, Obi-Wan Kenobi, was supposed to be returning from a simple scouting mission...nothing could go wrong. The last Qui-Gon had heard from the boy was ten hours ago when the ship was about to depart the planet of Ciron IV. Obi-Wan had reported that they were under attack from unknown enemies and were having difficulty getting the ship off the ground. The connection was lost, and since then, the Jedi Master had been unable to reach his student through their bond.   
  
If the flight was on schedule, the ship should have landed over two hours ago on Courascant. There was no sign of it or of Qui-Gon's apprentice.   
  
**Calm down Jinn. There are few better pilots than that boy, he's okay, just delayed. I would have felt it if something happened. No, I can't feel anything over our bond...what if...NO! Obi-Wan will be home soon, everything will be okay...he's...** Qui-Gon's thoughts were interrupted by a familiar voice.   
  
"I knew you'd be here. Worrying over that boy of yours."   
  
"Mace, he should have landed hours ago...I can't feel him...this is not funny."   
  
"Relax Qui-Gon, I am sure he's okay. You, on the other hand..."   
  
Qui-Gon was in no mood for Mace Windu's lax attitude. His frustration overtook him and he lashed out at his friend. "What am I supposed to do Mace? Huh? Just sit calmly in my quarters, wasting away the day, while my apprentice is Force knows where? Yes, I am worried, how can I not be? If anything happened to him...I...."   
  
Mace placed a hand on his friend's shoulder. "I'm sorry Qui, I really am. I know how important he is to you, I did not intend to make light of the situation. He's a good pilot, and so much like you...that alone can get him through most anything."   
  
"He's only eighteen years old Mace...I'm not ready to lose him."   
  
"Let's not rush here Qui. Give him more time before you write him off. Maybe they had engine trouble after the ship was attacked and they had to stop and repair. You just don't know. He's not alone remember. Knight's Taran and Brada are with him."   
  
"I know. I know. Perhaps I should sit down for a bit."   
  
Mace agreed. "Good idea, let me accompany you to your quarters, I will make us some nerve-settling herbal tea."   
===============   
The two old friends sat in Qui-Gon's apartment. Mace observed as the older Jedi's hands shook each time he lifted the cup of tea to his lips. The Knight's nerves were becoming more frayed with each passing moment. They were interrupted buy a chime at the door. "Come."   
  
Master Yoda entered the apartment, and immediately sat himself in one of the chairs. "No news of your apprentice you have, hmm?"   
  
"No Master, I lost contact over ten hours ago." The tall Master found himself taking one deep breath after another. "I'm just worried."   
  
"Worry you should, your student he is. That boy, means a lot to you does he?"   
  
"I think maybe, he means to much to me. Have I allowed myself to get to close? It's my duty to train him and prepare him for what is ahead, not necessarily be a parent. Maybe I..."   
  
Yoda grunted. "Be parents to our students we must. Look to us they will. Padawan Kenobi...he is good for you Qui-Gon. Needed him you did, changed you he has...for the better hmmm?"   
  
Qui-Gon got up and began pacing again. He turned to view the chrono on the wall. "Four hours, the ship should have been here four hours ago. Something happened...even delayed, they...he...Force this waiting is so hard."   
  
Stepping forward to place an arm around the taller Knight, Mace spoke gently. "I know it's hard Qui, but we can do nothing else. We must be patient."   
  
That one statement struck a chord with Qui-Gon, and he laughed. Mace was left confused.   
  
"Okay, what's so funny."   
  
"We must be patient. How many times have I told Obi-Wan the same exact thing? He hears me, but it doesn't help...his patience was never a strong point. He would just say..'Yes, Master' and I know it was just rolling around in his head. Strange how one's own words can be used against him. I must be patient."   
==============   
The hours continued to pass, with still no word from the transport ship. Qui-Gon was losing any and all patience that he had left.   
  
//Obi-Wan...please padawan...tell me you are okay. Don't make me go through the hurt of losing you. I lost one apprentice already, I cannot lose another...I will not lose the one who is so important to me. Please Obi-Wan....// So concerned Qui-Gon was, that he failed to feel the sleep suggestion that Master Yoda had forced upon him. Within minutes, a blackness overwhelmed him and he lay snoring peacefully on the couch.   
  
"Sleep you will my padawan...until returns your own padawan does. Find peace in the Force you will."   
===============   
Qui-Gon was awakened by a loud pounding sound on the door of his apartment, and a voice...yelling. "Jinn...opened this damned door. Jinn?"   
  
Shakily, he made his way to the location of the noise. "Mace? What the hell do you want?"   
  
"I've been trying to contact you for an hour now. We just got a transmission from the ship. They will be here in less than ten minutes. So, clean yourself up."   
  
"Obi-Wan?" Qui-Gon's face was filled with worry.   
  
"He's okay Qui. Knight Taran tells me he's a little beat up, but he'll be fine...and that he saved their lives with his ability to remain calm...his...um...patience paid off I guess?"   
  
Letting out a heavy breath, Qui-Gon hurried to clean himself up. "What docking bay?"   
  
"Twenty-Four."   
  
"If he's okay, why can't I feel our bond? I can't sense him at all."   
  
"The ship was hit with neuro blasts that limit the Force sensitivity of humans. Once he is off the ship you should be able to feel his presence in your mind again."   
  
"Okay, I'm ready...lead the way."   
  
They hurried to the docking area...Qui-Gon continued his pacing while awaiting further word. "Where is the ship Mace?"   
  
"I'm going to have the healers put you on a daily dose of Valium. Your blood pressure probably sky-high right now. Relax Jinn. He is fine."   
  
Qui-Gon knew he was allowing his emotions to better him, but he was so anxious to see his apprentice alive and well, he didn't care.   
  
"Here they come. Looks like they sustained quite a bit of damage."   
  
The ship touched down. A few minutes later, three exhausted Jedi made their way from the cockpit. Obi-Wan looked like hell, his arm in a makeshift sling, cuts and scrapes covering his face...but he was alive. Knight Taran led him over to where Master Jinn awaited.   
  
The younger Knight bowed to the Master, who could not take his eyes from his padawan. Taran spoke first. "Master Jinn, we are in Kenobi's debt. His actions were remarkable. He has suffered some injuries when the ship was thrown about, but he's no worse for the wear. You should be proud of him."   
  
A smile began creeping across Qui-Gon's face. "I am Taran, very proud. Thank you for looking after his injuries."   
  
"I will leave you two alone."   
  
Obi-Wan looked up at his Master. "I couldn't feel you Master. So, I just tried to remember my training."   
  
As the Force bond between them began to re-establish itself, the Master seemed at a loss for words. The relief that Obi-Wan was well, was more than he could have imagined. Finally he forced himself to speak.   
  
"You will have to tell me all about this mission. But first, a trip to the healers is in order."   
  
"Yes, Master." Obi-Wan looked down, somewhat disappointed in his Masters reaction to his return.   
  
Qui-Gon picked up on the thoughts. "I'm sorry padawan, I don't mean to be aloof towards you, but, I have been so worried since that last transmission...I am at a loss as to what to say. You shouldn't worry your Master like that. My heart can only take so much." He paused. "I was afraid I had lost you, and it scared me. I don't want to lose you Obi-Wan."   
  
Before Obi-Wan could reply, he felt large, soothing arms surrounding his tired body. He allowed himself to relax into the embrace. "It's okay Master. I will be okay."   
  
"I know that...now." Qui-Gon released his hold on the boy. "Come Obi-Wan, we will see the healers, and then you will get some sleep. The Council will wish to speak to you tomorrow. We must be rested."   
  
As the pair walked off, Master Yoda, who had been observing silently, tapped his walking stick. "Found what you had sought all along, you did, my padawan. The one who needs you as much as he is needed by you. Found peace you have with young Kenobi. Rescued you he did. Force be with you Qui-Gon Jinn."   
  
END   
  



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